不是....而是....

不是我不想给妳打电话, 而是我害怕打扰到你在做事;

不是我的话题少, 而是我比较喜欢静静聆听你所说的;

不是我还不够成熟, 而是我想把我最真的一面留给你;

不是我不想理妳, 而是我有时需要一个人思考的空间;

不是我并不够爱妳, 而是我害怕去面对失去你的痛苦;

不是我想停下脚步, 而是我害怕距离近了但心却远了;

所以, 我只好原地不动静静地守候, 或许这是对彼此最好的距离, 我不需要害怕你离我而去, 也不需要害怕把你吓跑。

因为不是....而是.....

化学反应 (下)

         望一望电脑的右下角, 已经凌晨三点钟了却一点睡意都没有。试图阻止在键盘上敲击的手指, 因为我知道敲出来的却是我对妳永无止境的思念。很显然, 我失败了。

         自Krabi回来以后, 妳, 在我生命里占去了绝大部分的空间。无论是工作、吃饭、甚至是思考, 哪怕只有那一丁点的慌神, 对妳的思念就像洪水暴发涌入我的心里, 令我毫无防被, 这也许是爱上一个人的征兆。对于妳的思念我小心收藏, 对于妳的回忆我细心保存。对于妳, 我有着许多的第一次。 第一次, 聊天聊到忘记睡觉, 那是我第一次也许是最后一次跟女生聊得那么来。妳的声音对我来说就像是天籁之音, 每次和妳聊天我都很放松自在, 每次和妳聊完我都会睡得很香; 第一次, 相约的第一场电影, 即便你已经看过了却还是坚持陪我看完; 第一次, 有人在戏院里为我吃薯片; 第一次, 有人穿上我的外套; 第一次, 有人亲手为我做蛋糕; 第一次, 有人紧紧地把我抱在她怀里; 第一次, 海边的亲吻。

           但近来, 这个化学反应似乎到了瓶颈, 我们从以前每天通电到现在一星期、甚至一个月才那么几通; 从以前信息是一来一回到现在许久才回; 从以前只打一通电话就能听到妳的声音到现在十几通电话都是留言信箱。或许所有东西都遵循着物质不灭定律和反应速率, 没有永远反应不完的物质也没有永远持续的反应。

           但我真的希望, 这个化学反应能够持续下去, 一小时, 一天, 一个月, 一年, 哪怕是一辈子我都愿意参与并守护这个化学反应。

化学反应 (上)

        恋爱——这个微妙的东西就像是生活里的化学反应, 让你捉摸不定, 猜也猜不透。它有时像是化学里的无机反应, 电光火石的那一刹那可以爱上一个人; 有时就像有机反应, 需要很长时间才能产生化学作用; 也有时就像两个无法反应的物质混搭在一起, 任凭你怎么努力地去加速反应, 那两人依旧是无动于衷、无法相爱。

   有时候我会问自己, 到底是什么让我遇见一个这样的妳? 2013年5月21日, 茫茫人海中我遇见了妳, 这或许是我上辈子修来的福份, 也或许是纯属巧合。但我很肯定的是, 妳我之间犹如加了催化剂的有机反应由慢变快、由弱变强。当时的我与妳只不过是再普通不过的陌生人, 记得当时的我一脸chock样; 而妳却一路上不断的逗我, 记得妳在巴士上为我而唱的那首《热情的沙漠》, 记得妳在泳池嚷着要我游butterfly给你看, 记得妳为我晒得烧焦的背后擦修复霜 (不妨告诉妳, 我当时把头藏在枕头底下偷笑), 记得我出岛攀岩迟迟未归妳担心到要死的样子, 也记得你把头靠在我的肩膀上睡得很甜的脸孔, 更记得妳在登机的一路上连跑带跳的可爱模样却又突然止步回头我握着我的手说：“我们好好相处”。我想这点点滴滴后来促成了我们彼此之间的催化剂, 唯独妳能燃烧我的沙漠、唯独妳能溶化我这座冰山。在妳面前我不需要冷冰冰地板着脸、在妳面前我不必戴着面具去猜疑, 因为在妳面前我就是我自己, 我就是爱上你的陈添凯。

My Very First Triathlon (Pre-race)

          July 7th, 2013, it might be just an usual day for a normal people in this planet, but for me, it is unforgettable and memorable experience ever in my life. Because today I've made a decision that people used to think but never took action. Because I dare to dream. And Because I joined Port Dickson Int'l Triathlon, a sport that I never touched before.

          I can still recall when I told the people around that I took part of Olympic Distance course and their first reaction was "Could you?", "Are you sure you able to finish the course?", "You don't even have a bike, just forget about it" and even my boss said that I might need 5hrs to finish the course. Yet, there are many people out there to tell you you can't. What you gotta do is turn around and say "watch me" and I did prove them I did it.

          There were still 4 months to reach the race day. As a swimmer, I was still doing the usual training everyday but the different is I need to add-on the run or the cycling session after the swim and there are still tons of techniques like open water swim skills, transition area preparation, fly mounting, nutrition, and etc I need to learn. Hereby, I'd like to thank Jhan Yong who did coach me, brief me a lot about this sport, without him I guess I was like what they said -DNF(did not finish). Time flies and my training progressed so were other triathletes in this planet. Day by day and hours by hours, muscle getting sore, endurance getting long-lasted, stamina getting raised and all the sweat I paid getting some tiny feedback. 

          Someone said some succeed people are destined but most most because they are determined. I may not  be the strongest; I may not be the fastest; I may not be the toughest; but I'm the determined who fighting hard for my dream.

          I hated  every minute of training, but I said, "Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your live as a champion.                                                                                         -Rise and Shine